Open-Heart Surgery

John came through his open-heart surgery just fine. He underwent surgery yesterday to repair a large hole between the left and right ventricles of his heart. He was in surgery for about 4 hours. He's in intensive care, but may be moved out of ICU as early as this evening. Mostly he wants to get up and explore, and would -- if he could just free himself from the wires and tubes attached to him.

Thanks for all your prayers on John's, and mom and dad's, behalf. Please continue to pray for a complication-free recovery. I'll send further updates as time permits.

Before I was a mom

Before I was a Mom

Before I was a mom.............
I made and ate hot meals.
I had unstained clothing.
I had quiet conversations on the phone.

Before I was a mom
I slept as late as i wanted
and never worried about how late I got into bed.
I brushed my hair and my teeth everyday.
Before I was a mom
I cleaned my house each day.
I never tripped over toys or forgot words to lullabies.

Before I was a mom
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a mom
I had never been puked on
pooped on
spit on
chewed on
peed on
or pinched by tiny fingers

Before I was a mom
I had complete control of
my thoughts
my body
and my mind.
I slept all night.

Before I was a mom
I never held down a screaming child so that doctors could do tests or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a mom
I never held a sleeping baby just because
I didn't want to put it down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces
when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew something so small
could affect my life so much.
I never knew that i could love someone so much.
I never knew i would love being a mom

Before I was a mom
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.
I didn't know that bond between a Mother and her child.
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important.

Before I was a mom
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every ten minutes to make sure all was ok
I had never known the warmth
the joy
the love
the headache
the wonderfulment
or the satisfaction of being a Mom.

I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much.............
before I was a mom.....

Good news on John

We went back to Riley on Tuesday and it may be a while before you hear from me again on John because he won't need to see the cardiologist for another year! Yea! He's doing so well that the Dr. feels we can wait that long to see if the heart will heal itself even further.

Once again, the Dr. didn't back down on the percentage chance that John will have to have heart surgery - that still stands at 90%, but he was very impressed with how well John is doing. He's growing like crazy (less than 15 months old and already over 34 inches tall), which is a really good sign. Plus, the tests show that the blood pressure through the hole in his heart isn't as much of a problem.

The great news for mom and dad is that starting in May, John will be able to play with other children. I'm so happy for him and for us. Now that we don't have to be quite so protective, life should assume a more normal quality. The enforced isolation was hard to work around sometimes - and he's starting to need the socialization.

Just thought you'd all like to know. Thank you for your prayers and concern.

Sicks Weeks

For six weeks around January, I couldn't take John anywhere because of the flu that was going around. Since then, I've resolved every week to come down for lunch and haven't made it. There was also a week in late Feb. where he was very sick because of some antibiotics he was on. He had to take them because he fell and split his chin open on the kitchen floor while demonstrating his new walking skills. Got three stitches! His Dad has a scar exactly like it from when he was about a year old too.

Not Walking Yet

The snow is beautiful. We're going through our firewood like crazy. I've kept the fireplace going ever since our weekend away. I got hooked on it, with having one in our room. =) It keeps it nice and cozy while the snow is falling. It's been wonderful.

John's doing great, but he's not walking yet. I don't think that it's because he's not capable. I just think crawling's easier. He has the balance and the strength, I just don't think he has the motivation yet.

Little booger.

John Update

I just wanted to let you know what the latest is on John's heart. Ted and I took him to Riley Hospital for Children on Tuesday. He had spent the night at Riley a month ago after getting a slight cold. Due to his heart condition, his lungs started filling up with fluid and they put him on some medicines to control it and regulate his heart. Tuesday's visit was a follow up to that.

His cardiologist was very pleased with Tuesday's test results. He said the blood pressure numbers on each side of the heart are improving. That's exactly what they're looking for. He also was pleased with how well John is doing in general. He's eating well and growing like crazy. That's unusual for a child with such a large hole in his heart. He said there is still a 90% chance that John will eventually need heart surgery. However, we may be able to wait quite some time (years, maybe?) before he has to have the surgery. The bigger John is, the lower the risks. There's also the chance that John will fall into that 10% category and have the hole close enough that he won't need the surgery at all.

The great news for us is that his doctor thinks that in a few months, John could be doing so well that we can take him to open-play situations like the church nursery. Right now, we still have to be very careful to keep him out of situations where there is a high risk he could be exposed to
bacteria for colds, etc. We go back in April for another run of tests to see if John is continuing to improve.

We are so grateful to God for keeping His hand on John. We are so grateful that he is doing so well and that we have an excellent hospital nearby that was able to quickly diagnose and control the fluid that was starting to build a month ago. We are also grateful to many of you for keeping us in your prayers. Thank you so much.

Regarding John

Thanks for the compliments on the boy. We think he's a cutie, but how credible are we? I think there will be more pictures of him hitting the net soon. His new favorite activity is emptying my cabinets. My favorite pictures feature his little bitty hiney sticking out of the cabinet and tupperware (or cans, or paper bags) all around. He's a lot of fun. And he is very happy and sweet. God blessed me with a sweet and gentle child.

He knew what I needed to ease me into parenthood. I hope and pray (very much) that I'm worthy of this wonderful little soul. What a daunting task to raise him in a way that preserves his essence. I'm so honored to be his mother and so anxious not to let him down. Ahhh, the concerns of parenthood are far more complex than I ever imagined.

I will not talk in class

The opening credits of "The Simpsons" shows Bart Simpson writing the same sentence over and over again on a chalkboard; the old "write it 100 times" punishment, which establishes him as a troublemaker. Each episode is different. Someone apparently went to the trouble of taping all the Simpsons, watching them all and writing down what Bart is writing on the board. These are the collected writings of Bart Simpson from the opening credits. Even if you're not a fan (I am not!) you'll like these:

> I will not carve gods.
> I will not spank others.
> I will not aim for the head.
> I will not barf unless I'm sick.
> I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty.
> I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's lounge.
> I will not conduct my own fire drills.
> Funny noises are not funny.
> I will not snap bras.
> I will not fake seizures.
> This punishment is not boring and pointless.
> My name is not Dr. Death.
> I will not defame New Orleans.
> I will not prescribe medication.
> I will not bury the new kid.
> I will not teach others to fly.
> I will not bring sheep to class.
> A burp is not an answer.
> Teacher is not a leper.
> Coffee is not for kids.
> I will not eat things for money.
> I will not yell "She's dead" at roll call.
> The principal's toupee is not a Frisbee.
> I will not call the principal "spud head."
> Goldfish don't bounce.
> Mud is not one of the four food groups.
> No one is interested in my underpants.
> I will not sell miracle cures.
> I will return the seeing-eye dog.
> I do not have diplomatic immunity.
> I will not charge admission to the bathroom.
> The cafeteria deep fryer is not a toy.
> All work and no play makes Bart a dull boy.
> I will not say "Springfield" just to get applause.
> I am not authorized to fire substitute teachers.
> My homework was not stolen by a one-armed man.
> I will not go near the kindergarten turtle.
> I am not deliciously saucy.
> Organ transplants are best left to professionals.
> The Pledge of Allegiance does not end with "Hail, Satan."
> I will not celebrate meaningless milestones.
> There are plenty of businesses like show business.
> Five days is not too long to wait for a gun.
> I will not waste chalk.
> I will not skateboard in the halls.
> Underwear should be worn on the inside.
> I will never win an Emmy.
> I will not torment the emotionally frail.
> I am not a 33-year-old woman.

Regarding John's heart...

We took John to the cardiologist today - no surgery for now. The hole has started closing a little bit. We have to take him back in 4 months to see what progress he's made by then. They will then determine if they need to do further testing (heart catheterization) to see exactly what the blood pressure is in both sides of the heart and whether it would require surgery.

The Doctor said there is a 90% chance that John will have to have heart surgery, but that he's doing well enough that they can defer it until later (anywhere from 1 to 3 years old). The Dr. also wants to wait and see if John will fall into that 10% chance that the hole will close far enough on its own without surgery. At any rate, if he has to have the surgery, it's a much more routine and safe surgery with an older child than it would be with an infant.

The Dr. still recommended against taking John to church or around a lot of people who would want to handle him. I also still have to keep him away from toddlers because they frequently carry so many germs and viruses. One good thing though, is that I don't have to worry so much about keeping him from crying. The Dr. feels his lungs are handling the extra pressure just fine so crying isn't going to hurt him.

That's a big relief for mom. =)

Parenthood

Parenthood is very wonderful(of course a parent would say that) It's a truly awesome and beautiful thing. I love it. John has a few medical problems that tear my heart out. He may have to have open heart surgery in a few months. We don't know yet. We'll find out on June 8th when he goes back in for more tests. Despite that health issue, he's growing and thriving. He looks perfectly healthy. And you're right, he's gonna be tall! He's actually grown 6 inches in 4 months! He's very, very long. He's been wearing 6 to 9 month size clothes for several weeks now. NBA bound.

Diet

John isn't on any food yet. My Dr. wanted me to wait until 4 months to introduce him to cereal. It's going ok.

The whole solid food thing seems so daunting. Like - how do you know what juices are causing the tummy aches? How do you know when they're allergic to something and what that something is? So far, with much experimentation, we haven't been able to pinpoint anything.

He's Here

John was born 11:55 am Tuesday January 19, 1999.

He weighed 8 pounds 1 ounce at birth and was 22 inches long, and came two weeks before his due date.

With his size, mom and doctor are glad he decided to come early.

Delivery was trouble-free, and his lungs are healthy! He needed no swat on the bum to start breathing; he emerged screaming! Despite his noisy entrance, he has a sweet disposition and emits the sweetest cooing sound.

Of course he is the most beautiful child ever known to man (this is the father speaking, remember.) His maternal grandmother is already convinced he is a genius, will play professional basketball and the piano. And (based on his introductory performance) he will be a singer.

Mom and baby are doing very well. We're all getting settled in, and getting acquainted.

Thanks for sharing in our journey!

No (baby) news...

No baby yet.

We took a trip to the hospital Saturday evening, but it was not baby related. Carolyn's mom fell on the ice and broke her leg. She's staying with us at least until she has her appointment with the Orthopedic specialist (Monday) to set the bone and give her a "permanent" cast.

I thought it'd save me a trip if the baby decided to be born while we were at the emergency room with Karen. But, as with so many of my ideas lately, the baby didn't agree.

I'll keep you posted.

No news is no news

No baby yet.

(press DELETE now if you don't care about the details...)

Well, we made it to Thursday, which I never thought would happen. Last week as Carolyn and I left the doctor's office, we made an appointment for this week, I said, "Yeah, right, like we'll need it!"

Wrong again.

The baby is determined not to change his primary residence...yet.

Carolyn forbade me to try my reverse psychology idea. "You are NOT telling him to stay inside!"

Everything looks and sounds fine. A clean bill of health from the doctor. The doctor says he would be very surprised if the baby isn't evicted before his due date, Feb. 4. The doctor wants the baby to come soon, but won't take drastic steps to make that happen until the due date arrives.

We do have the doctor's blessing to try the various, so-called "hocus-pocus", methods of making the baby come. We already tried chinese food, to no avail. A local mexican restaurant reputedly has a salsa that does the trick. So tonight we're having mexican food.

We've received recommendations of a few other home remedies, all of which we will try in turn - except for castor oil. No to that!

Stay tuned...

No baby yet

No baby yet.

(If you don't care about details, press DELETE now...)

This little dickens is beginning to show me for a fool. I really thought he'd come on Monday, and here it is Wednesday morning and still no baby. Carolyn had enough sense not to get her heart set on Monday. (That makes one of us)

We tried chinese food last night, which is rumored to have powers to cure a baby's stubbornness. So far, no effect.

According to some of Carolyn's girlfriends, a "general feeling of crappiness" is an indication that labor will soon begin. If that's true, we'll see some action soon. Carolyn definitely has the general baby-on-the-way crappy feeling today.

I told him again last night that it was time to be born. My mother tells me that he's just asserting his independence, not listening to his father.

I wonder if "in the womb" is too soon to try reverse psychology.

Stay tuned...

No news means no baby

No News means no baby.

Press delete now if you don't care to hear more...

We are evaluating each suggested home remedy for what I now term "RBS - Reluctant Baby Syndrome". I appreciate your many suggestions.

Here's what we've tried so far, to no avail:

- fatherly plea
- chinese food
- mexican food
- pizza

Additional suggestions:

- Pasta (news to me, but what's the harm)
- Herbal tea (requires the husband to undertake a treacherous quest to locate it...but still remains a contender)
- Castor Oil (this one is hotly debated. The doctor has advised against it, but more than one mother has extolled its
virtues. Others vehemently poo-poo the idea, so to speak.)

That's all I have for now. Stay tuned.

...and waiting...

No baby yet.

(If you don't care about details, press DELETE now...)

This little dickens is beginning to show me for a fool. I really thought he'd come on Monday, and here it is Wednesday morning and still no baby. Carolyn had enough sense not to get her heart set on Monday. (That makes one of us)

We tried chinese food last night, which is rumored to have powers to cure a baby's stubbornness. So far, no effect.

According to some of Carolyn's girlfriends, a "general feeling of crappiness" is an indication that labor will soon begin. If that's true, we'll see some action soon. Carolyn definitely has the general baby-on-the-way crappy feeling today.

I told him again last night that it was time to be born. My mother tells me that he's just asserting his independence, not listening to his father. I wonder if "in the womb" is too soon to try reverse psychology.

Stay tuned...

>

Still Waiting

We're still waiting. The contractions aren't strong nor frequent enough, but they are getting stronger. They're erratic; one hour will be quite busy, the next hour will be nothing.

Baby is still kicking Carolyn in the ribs.

I had a talk with him last night, told him it was time to be born. We'll see if he listens.

(The running joke is that he listened to me when I told him: "You need to turn". Within 24 hours of me "commanding" him to turn, he had dropped into the correct position.

This whole notion comes from a tale told by a friend of Carolyn's. Apparently the husband "told" the baby to turn moments before a C-section was performed - and the baby turned, and the C-section was averted.)

No Baby Yet

No baby yet.

Due date is Feb 4, but the doctor wants him to come a little early cuz he's getting big. The doctor has taken Carolyn off the medicine which had been preventing her contractions. We expect some action fairly soon.

I'm Bumming

The doctor said he would be nervous for me to travel any farther away than 2 hrs from here on out. Not because of any particular risks with me, but because it's just always a possibility that any woman could go into pre-term labor around 32 weeks. I'm at 31 weeks. He said that they have a huge practice and probably have 10 or 12 women deliver out of state every year. He usually recommends that women who travel routinely on business, stop all travel after 32 weeks.

He said the worst thing about delivering pre-term out of state is that it would not only be terrifying, but the baby would have to stay in the hospital wherever we are for 6 weeks or so. He said if the trip really means a lot to us that it's our decision. But we need to know the risks before we decide and take my medical records with us.
--Carolyn